Devotional for February 6, 2024
Loving a Person Who Struggles with Anxiety
By: Hailey Reynolds
For the friends and family of someone struggling with anxiety:
Knowing how to love someone well who struggles with anxiety or mental illness when you yourself have never walked through it can seem impossible. In some regards it is. That is where Jesus comes in. Jesus bridges the gaps in understanding so that we can love each other in fullness. It is the knowledge of His salvation and hope that crosses the border of human confusion. Lean on Him as you pray through helping your friend or family member struggling with fear. Ask Jesus to be your teacher and guide, to bring peace and healing through your relationship.
As someone who struggles with anxiety, I felt Jesus push me to write down some ideas for how I want to be loved by my friends and family when I am having panic attacks or in the depths of anxiety. Hopefully, some of these tips are helpful to you when walking through this with the person struggling to find hope in your life.
Tips for bridging the gap:
When I am struggling with my anxiety, stuck in fear, a lot of times I am not looking for answers when I go to others for help. I know my anxiety is dumb and stupid logically, I know it doesn’t make sense, but it paralyzes me anyway. What I am looking for from the people I trust with my burden, is for them to “get in the mud” with me. I am looking for them to comfort me, pray with me, and just be a gentle reminder of the presence and peace of Jesus.
“Get in the mud,” is a phrase my pastor used when describing how he handles his wife’s anxious moments. From their years of marriage, he has learned that oftentimes he tries to solve his wife’s problems logically, when she is really just asking him to listen and sit with her. She wants him to weep with her and help her carry the burden to the foot of the Cross.
Why should you get in the mud with your loved ones struggling with anxiety? Because that is exactly what Jesus does. Whenever we are walking through a struggle or time of suffering, the Bible promises that Jesus is there. The MSG version of Psalm 23 describes this perfectly in verse 4 when it says, “Even when the way goes through Death Valley, I’m not afraid when you walk at my side. Your trusted shepherd’s crook makes me feel secure.”
The best example of getting in the mud is the story of Lazarus and Jesus raising him from the dead (John 11:1-44 ESV).
Lazarus, as well as his two sisters Martha and Mary, were long-time friends of Jesus. One day, Jesus is sent word from the two sisters that Lazarus was ill and they need Jesus to come quickly and heal him. It says in John 11 that Jesus loved these siblings, and so He summoned His disciples to join Him as He traveled back to Judea. By the time Jesus gets to their house however, He finds out that Lazarus has already been dead for four days. His body was already wrapped in a tomb. Martha comes running out to Jesus and asks where He has been, pleads with Him that if He had been there sooner, her brother would not have died. Mary also then joins her sister and recites the same pleas to Jesus. The scriptures say that Jesus was deeply moved as He watched the women weep. So moved, that He wept with them.
This moment is key. Jesus knows that Lazarus will rise from the dead. He knows the hope that He offers Mary and Martha. He trusts in God’s plan to encourage their hearts. But even though He knows all of these facts, He still takes the time to sit and weep with the sisters and onlookers. Before He does any healing, He weeps. He gets in the mud with them and feels their pain as they cry out for the brother they lost.
This moment is one of the most famous verses in the bible, and it is also the shortest and simplest. “Jesus wept” (John 11:35 ESV). It is a reminder to us that it doesn’t have to be a grandiose act of wisdom to get in the mud with your friend or family member struggling with anxiety; it is just about meeting them where they are. Jesus met Martha and Mary in grief before He began the healing.
Jesus didn’t worry about the facts or circumstances surrounding Martha’s and Mary’s anguish; He just sat with them and let them pour out their hearts.
Now while we are called to get in the mud, we are not called to stay there. The person in your life who is struggling with anxiety needs your strength. They need your encouragement to see the hope in God’s future plans for them. So, when they are ready, offer your hand and help them take the first small steps out of the mud.
Jesus parallels this act in the moments after He weeps with Martha and Mary. He gets up and asks Martha and Mary to lead Him to the tomb where Lazarus lay. Martha tries to come up with excuses, but Jesus gently reminds her of His promise to see the glory of God through her hurt.
As they take away the stone, Jesus calls out to Lazarus, and Lazarus comes out to the joy of the sisters and onlookers. Jesus then tells those in attendance to “take off the grave clothes and let him go” (John 11:43 NIV).
Jesus brings miraculous healing and reminds the sisters of the power of His might. He then calls them to walk away from their grief and rejoice in the Lord. This is the kind of grace we are called to walk in when pulling our friends and family out of the mud. Gently remind them of the truth of the Gospel and help them pull the “grave clothes” off.
This is an excerpt from Hailey's book- "I Don't Want To Live Like This," a testimonial on her struggle with anxiety and how the Lord redeemed her life in the darkest moments of fear and pain. The devotional above is one of the tips included in the book for friends and family members who don't personally struggle with anxiety, but know someone they love does. Hailey still has copies available if you are interested in reading more.
Moment of Worshipful Reflection: Listen to "I Am Not Alone," by Kari Jobe and ask God to remind you of His presence as either you struggle with anxiety, or you seek to comfort someone who does. Ask for His Wisdom to love well and intentionally in the midst of hardship and pain.
By: Hailey Reynolds
For the friends and family of someone struggling with anxiety:
Knowing how to love someone well who struggles with anxiety or mental illness when you yourself have never walked through it can seem impossible. In some regards it is. That is where Jesus comes in. Jesus bridges the gaps in understanding so that we can love each other in fullness. It is the knowledge of His salvation and hope that crosses the border of human confusion. Lean on Him as you pray through helping your friend or family member struggling with fear. Ask Jesus to be your teacher and guide, to bring peace and healing through your relationship.
As someone who struggles with anxiety, I felt Jesus push me to write down some ideas for how I want to be loved by my friends and family when I am having panic attacks or in the depths of anxiety. Hopefully, some of these tips are helpful to you when walking through this with the person struggling to find hope in your life.
Tips for bridging the gap:
- Get in the mud, but don’t stay there forever.
When I am struggling with my anxiety, stuck in fear, a lot of times I am not looking for answers when I go to others for help. I know my anxiety is dumb and stupid logically, I know it doesn’t make sense, but it paralyzes me anyway. What I am looking for from the people I trust with my burden, is for them to “get in the mud” with me. I am looking for them to comfort me, pray with me, and just be a gentle reminder of the presence and peace of Jesus.
“Get in the mud,” is a phrase my pastor used when describing how he handles his wife’s anxious moments. From their years of marriage, he has learned that oftentimes he tries to solve his wife’s problems logically, when she is really just asking him to listen and sit with her. She wants him to weep with her and help her carry the burden to the foot of the Cross.
Why should you get in the mud with your loved ones struggling with anxiety? Because that is exactly what Jesus does. Whenever we are walking through a struggle or time of suffering, the Bible promises that Jesus is there. The MSG version of Psalm 23 describes this perfectly in verse 4 when it says, “Even when the way goes through Death Valley, I’m not afraid when you walk at my side. Your trusted shepherd’s crook makes me feel secure.”
The best example of getting in the mud is the story of Lazarus and Jesus raising him from the dead (John 11:1-44 ESV).
Lazarus, as well as his two sisters Martha and Mary, were long-time friends of Jesus. One day, Jesus is sent word from the two sisters that Lazarus was ill and they need Jesus to come quickly and heal him. It says in John 11 that Jesus loved these siblings, and so He summoned His disciples to join Him as He traveled back to Judea. By the time Jesus gets to their house however, He finds out that Lazarus has already been dead for four days. His body was already wrapped in a tomb. Martha comes running out to Jesus and asks where He has been, pleads with Him that if He had been there sooner, her brother would not have died. Mary also then joins her sister and recites the same pleas to Jesus. The scriptures say that Jesus was deeply moved as He watched the women weep. So moved, that He wept with them.
This moment is key. Jesus knows that Lazarus will rise from the dead. He knows the hope that He offers Mary and Martha. He trusts in God’s plan to encourage their hearts. But even though He knows all of these facts, He still takes the time to sit and weep with the sisters and onlookers. Before He does any healing, He weeps. He gets in the mud with them and feels their pain as they cry out for the brother they lost.
This moment is one of the most famous verses in the bible, and it is also the shortest and simplest. “Jesus wept” (John 11:35 ESV). It is a reminder to us that it doesn’t have to be a grandiose act of wisdom to get in the mud with your friend or family member struggling with anxiety; it is just about meeting them where they are. Jesus met Martha and Mary in grief before He began the healing.
Jesus didn’t worry about the facts or circumstances surrounding Martha’s and Mary’s anguish; He just sat with them and let them pour out their hearts.
Now while we are called to get in the mud, we are not called to stay there. The person in your life who is struggling with anxiety needs your strength. They need your encouragement to see the hope in God’s future plans for them. So, when they are ready, offer your hand and help them take the first small steps out of the mud.
Jesus parallels this act in the moments after He weeps with Martha and Mary. He gets up and asks Martha and Mary to lead Him to the tomb where Lazarus lay. Martha tries to come up with excuses, but Jesus gently reminds her of His promise to see the glory of God through her hurt.
As they take away the stone, Jesus calls out to Lazarus, and Lazarus comes out to the joy of the sisters and onlookers. Jesus then tells those in attendance to “take off the grave clothes and let him go” (John 11:43 NIV).
Jesus brings miraculous healing and reminds the sisters of the power of His might. He then calls them to walk away from their grief and rejoice in the Lord. This is the kind of grace we are called to walk in when pulling our friends and family out of the mud. Gently remind them of the truth of the Gospel and help them pull the “grave clothes” off.
This is an excerpt from Hailey's book- "I Don't Want To Live Like This," a testimonial on her struggle with anxiety and how the Lord redeemed her life in the darkest moments of fear and pain. The devotional above is one of the tips included in the book for friends and family members who don't personally struggle with anxiety, but know someone they love does. Hailey still has copies available if you are interested in reading more.
Moment of Worshipful Reflection: Listen to "I Am Not Alone," by Kari Jobe and ask God to remind you of His presence as either you struggle with anxiety, or you seek to comfort someone who does. Ask for His Wisdom to love well and intentionally in the midst of hardship and pain.